We have lost everything.

Sometimes life really does go up in smoke... and in my sister's case in fire and explosions and everything else terrible that you can imagine. Last week, I spoke about living in joy when life's tragedies are at bay. For my sister, and her band, ADDISON ROAD, this is not that time in their lives. I do pray, daily, that they will reach a season of peace, when they can just breath a sigh of relief because everything is as it should be. Honestly, sometimes we never reach that season this side of eternity. Sometimes the blows keep coming one after the other, and all we can do is pray to keep our heads above water. Fortunately, we do have a God who loves us dearly and walks beside us through each difficult day, sometimes hour. A God who gives us the strength to keep fighting and a peace that passes all human understanding.

My sister spent the last week packing everything she owned, truly everything. Packing her daughter's toys and books and special blankets, her cute clothes and DVDs and food and baby supplies, seriously everything. They were going to be on the road for TWO full months. We would be visiting their home (at the end of March), long before they would be seeing it again. They were going to be traveling for two whole months, and like any good mom, and musician, and seriously, like any good woman, she packed it all. And she lost it all.

Their RV broke down (for the first time) a day before they had to be in Nevada. At the time they were in AZ, and since they had to be in Nevada for their next concert they were forced to rent rental cars and drive the whole way. It's a long story, you can read about it here, but what it amounts to is this...

Imagine you packed everything you and your child owned, and not only everything you owned, but everything you could afford to own, you don't have the money to replace it, and now you are watching it burn to the ground. I realize stuff is stuff, it's just stuff and in the whole scheme of life it doesn't really matter in the end. Having your daughter to hold, being so blessed to have not been on that RV when it exploded, walking away with your life and your husband's life and your daughter's life, that is what's truly important, and of course my sister knows that. But to know you've lost it all, well truly, it will bring you to your knees, which is exactly where it brought my sister.

Joseph's words ring loud and clear: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."(Gen.50:20) Maybe the evil of this world intended this devastation to break their spirits, to turn them back, to lead them home, to give up the fight, but God says, NO! I will use this for good, and I will continue to receive glory through the work you are doing.

I will leave you with this thought... Sometimes I do wonder why my life has been so easy, why I still have all of my possessions, why I haven't been asked to sacrifice it all for the Lord, to give up everything and subject myself to the insanity that people like my sister and other missionaries around the world have done. I don't think I have the answer to that question yet, but I do know this, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." (Luke 12:48)

I have been given much, I don't know why, but I do know because of this, much more is required and demanded of me. I pray I never forget that, because that is my sacrifice, as small as it might be, giving all of what I've been given is all I can do. Don't deny me the opportunity to sacrifice for my Lord. In the big scheme of things there are others who sacrifice much, much more than I do, like my sister, but that doesn't mean I don't have the opportunity and responsibility to sacrifice as well.

If you are in a place where you can, and you'd like to join me in sacrificing for Addison Road, you can do so here. And if not, please keep them in your prayers.

Living in Joy

Christmas music makes me happy. No matter what the day or week or month brings, if I put in a Christmas cd and dance around the house, I immediately feel better. Well, dancing is not really required, but it does help.

Sometimes I wonder why life has been so easy for me. I read and hear and listen and watch people tell about the tragedies they experience, the hardships they face, the struggle with marriages or children or money, and my heart breaks for them, yet I can’t help but think, why haven’t I walked that path, why has my life been so easy? I guess I’ve always compared my life to other people’s lives, and their problems always seem so much bigger than mine.

Some days I feel guilty for living this life, guilty that life is not harder for me. That to be truly Christian is to struggle through life, to bear the burdens of life, and to take on more when we don’t feel weighed down enough.

How foolish am I? I don’t think Christ delights in our suffering. He doesn’t delight in the burdens we carry around. In Christ, we are free, truly free, free to lay down those burdens, even free to live a life of fullness and abundance.

I’m not saying it’s easy to lay these burdens down, especially when you are in the midst of trials and suffering and blow after blow. No, I think those are the times when Christ helps us put one foot in front of the other, when he helps us get out of bed in the morning or afternoon or evening.

But when we’re not in the midst of trials, there is joy in letting go of the little burdens and delighting in the abundance that’s around us. I’m not talking about worldly abundance, wealth or fame or security or anything else, but heavenly abundance, the type of abundance that only comes from being made into a new creation in Christ, the old has gone, the new has come (2 Cor. 5:17). Seeing things with new eyes, even when life takes an unexpected turn, or you find yourself in uncharted waters.

In my own small way, I’ve faced hardships, I’ve faced uncertainties, and some days I’m really good at relinquishing those fears, other days I sit inside the hole I’ve created in myself and pout. But when I really think about my life, when I take a good, long look at it, I realize that my life is beyond what I could have ever dreamed up or imagined. I realize I’ve done more, seen more, experienced more than I ever believed was possible. And I realize how very fortunate I am.

Fortunate to have married a man after God’s own heart, to be a military spouse on a huge mission field with so many opportunities to share the love of God to a hopeless and dying world, to get to travel and live in exotic and foreign locations, to meet new people, to experience new cultures, to seek God’s direction in my life, and to depend fully on Him for my next step.

Some days it’s hard, some days I feel out of place, some days I struggle with my own insecurities. But on those days, I force myself to stop, to listen to Christmas music, and remind myself of what I have, where I’m at, and whose I am. Then I realize I’m pretty stinken lucky.

Maybe the hardships will come, maybe the rough days are ahead, but when that time does come, I hope I’ll be able to look back and cling to the God that has brought me here and know He will never leave me, nor forsake me.